I'll just have a glass of water, thanks.

Today's post will be preceded by a disclaimer. There are people in the world who are insulted too easy and therefore I'll just say that this isn't directed at any one person or group and any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental. So do try to keep your butt unhurt.

Throughout my life I've heard phrases like "Blood is thicker than water" and "Family is all you've got" and every interpretation in between. I've spent countless hours wondering about how much truth those phrases hold. I ask myself questions about family and friends and the qualities of each. I ask myself what I look for in friends and what I wish my family was. I know wishing doesn't change anything, but there were countless times I've sat on the bus and pondered about it.

I would often find myself imagining what life may have been like had I been lucky enough to have real parents or even to have been raised by the ones I was stuck with. I'd wondered if maybe I was suffering more at the hands of my grandmother than my (then thought of) deadbeat parents. I had people in my life who I wish were my parents; friends' parents, aunt or uncles, and even some teachers. There was a lot of regret in my life even though none of it had been my fault. But I digress...

Sauntering back to the original question, I've wondered lately about whether someone's blood family are truly closer to them than the people we choose to associate with-- Our friends. Friends are people we've either grown up with, or had a common cause with, or simply clicked at any point. Their ages can range to far younger to far older. They're people we've chosen to be around, people whose company we genuinely enjoy. What makes their bonds any weaker than the ones of the so-called family we're born into. None of us asked to be a part of the dysfunction that most families suffer from, and most of us can honestly say that we don't even like many of our family members, nuclear or extended.

Yet we are told over and over again that our families are the most important people in our lives, that they're the ones who are there when you really need them, or that you'll only find a small handful of true friends but you'll always have your family. I've never really believed any of that. I spent most of my adolescent and adult life avoiding my family. The drama that circulates amongst relatives is truly the bloodiest of all. I'm not saying that friendships don't have their fair share, but that we are far quicker to forgive our friends... most of the time. Why is that? I believe one word can answer that: Expectations.

Family members, no matter how distant, have expectations of each other. How to behave, how to dress, how to speak, eat, sing, dance, learn, think, listen, and any number of other aspects of who we are. Just because they share the same blood as we do, our relatives expect us to conform to the ones who came before us. They expect us to do things they were doing. They demand that we follow the paths they didn't have the courage ability to. They've either failed at their lives and think they know how to keep us from doing the same, or they've had so much success that they believe they know better than we do in our lives.

On the other hand, our friends have already accepted who we are. In fact, they're really only talking to us because they like what they see(Unless there's politics involved where we talk to people we really don't like and yeah), because we exhibit some quality that they like or again, we just click. The only thing our friends expect from us is to be the best people we can be. Friends support us in our endeavors no matter how stupid they are even when --or especially because-- they know we're going to fail. They'll follow us through the jaws of hell not because we share a stupid phial of blood,  but perhaps in spite of it.

My friends are my backups, my stand ins, my escape plans, my shoulders and my best hugs. They're the ones I'd take a bullet for and the ones I'd spend my last penny on. My friends are the reason I am who I am and they're the reason I'll continue to grow into the person I'll be next week, next month, and for the rest of my life. My friends give me purpose and they give me reason. They've succeeded where most who share my blood have failed. And for that I thank every single one of them.

I love you all.

<3333333333

- Hoody out