The disclaimer is fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck dicks.
Now that that's out of my system, I've been thinking about the past a lot lately; and the present. I guess overall I've been thinking of a few particular things I've seen and that I'm seeing around me. It brought me to remember something from a long time ago.
Smiles.
I don't know if I smile a lot. I know I didn't when I was younger. I know I smiled quite a bit at the beginning of my relationship with my current fiance. I think smiling was something I learned to do as I got older. I was too busy surviving when I was younger. But enough about me, I'd like to talk about the power of smiling and why we do it.
The most common reason to smile is when you're happy. Easy enough. Good things happen to you and you're happy and so you smile. You get a kind word from your crush, or you get an awesome role in the school musical, or you got accepted to the handbell choir you were SURE you weren't good enough for and had been agonizing about it for longer than was probably healthy(man, my sixth grade self was a real idiot). But yeah, those smiles are EASY. Anyone can manage them.
I remember for a long time in my life, things were so bad that I was falling apart. I didn't know how to be happy so I faked it. Things were just really shitty and I didn't know how to fix it. Everything I tried to do was either shot down or ignored. For a long time I kept smiling. I'd been asked how I could keep smiling through everything. I still don't know for sure, but my answer was always "If I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying." Since then, I've often returned to those days in my memory, looking for one thing or another. Something I found, even though I hadn't been looking for it, was an answer. I think there's a personal therapeutic quality to smiling. We psyche ourselves out. Maybe we're smiling for the wrong reasons, but the act of smiling has the ability to make us feel better. The world looks very different depending on the way our lips are bent, it seems.
Throughout our lives we face the most dire situations we've ever faced in our lives. That's because up until that moment we'd only faced things that we'd already overcome. But I think it's important to remember just that. To get where we are to face the WORST CIRCUMSTANCE EVER we had to have already overcome countless WORST CIRCUMSTANCES EVER. Let's face it, most of us are made of some pretty tough stuff. We're stubborn and hardworking and insightful and clever and TRICKSY LIKE HOBBITSES. Seriously, give yourself some credit. Even though the fight won't end until you do, just putting up your fist is impressive.
My advice to anyone going through the worst situation they've ever experienced is...
1) Laugh. It will change things, even if it's just you who changes.
2) Remember that somebody loves you and is willing to help you get through.
3) Don't forget who you are. It's easy to lose yourself in a crowd, but you're so much more than that.
4) Eat more bacon. Bitches love bacon.
I hope you're reading this. I love you and I'll always help you if you need me.
"Combining the picture and the quote: best lazy moment ever." - Hoody
